Season 11, Episode 1 (October 25, 1982) — the 236th episode of M*A*S*H overall and the season premiere of the final season. Written by Alan Alda (with Karen Hall per some sources); Directed by Susan Oliver.
The title nods to the showtune "Hey, Look Me Over" — the 4077th jukebox even sports a fresh batch of new records (Doris Day, Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Patti Page) swapped in by Nurse Kellye as part of the episode's welcome-home party setup.
When a Chinese-invasion scare forces the Army to evacuate the nurses, the 4077th's men are left to run the OR alone — and quickly turn the place into a shambles, with unsterilized instruments piled everywhere and dried plaster on the floor. The Chinese pull back before the bug-out is complete, and the nurses return to a hero's welcome. The celebration is cut short when Colonel Potter announces a snap inspection by the dreaded Colonel Buchholtz (Peggy Feury), an exacting Army nurse-inspector known for docking MASH units over the most obscure technicalities. Margaret drives her nursing staff into the ground preparing [1][2][3].
In the episode's centerpiece storyline, Nurse Kellye Yamato (Kellye Nakahara) finally snaps at Hawkeye after years of being overlooked. Hawkeye is happy enough to dance the Lindy with her or chat her up in Post Op, but the moment a tall blonde nurse appears — or a slow song queues up on the jukebox — he treats her like "Typhoid Mary." Kellye lays into him: "I'm not 5 foot 9 with long blond hair and a nose you could fit into a bottlecap!" — and tells him "you haven't the faintest idea how terrific I am." Hawkeye doesn't really see what he's done wrong until he watches Kellye sit with a dying soldier in Post Op, holding his hand and easing him through his last minutes. By the time the soldier is gone, her eyes are filled with tears. Hawkeye shows up at the Nurses' Tent with flowers and a tuxedo to apologize — only to find Kellye already on a date with the inspector's aide. The final scene gives the pair their moment anyway: Hawkeye cues up a slow song on the jukebox, points to her cheek and then his own, and the two dance together cheek-to-cheek in the Officers' Club [1][2][3].
A parallel thread finds Margaret breaking down over Buchholtz's impossible standards — until B.J. and Winchester point out that what Buchholtz does to Margaret, Margaret does to her nurses, and overhears two of them grumbling "She's almost as bad as Houlihan!" Margaret relents, gives her nurses the night off, and ultimately passes the inspection [2][3].
The episode is a rare center-stage showcase for a longtime supporting player. Kellye Nakahara had been with the series since Season 1, originally hired as an extra and gradually graduated to speaking roles; Alan Alda reportedly approached her personally with the script to see if she'd want to take the spotlight. She made the most of it — Nakahara passed away in February 2020 [1][2].
A note on credits: the episode's writing and directing credits vary by source. Wikipedia lists it as written by Alan Alda, directed by Susan Oliver; MASH4077TV lists it as written by Karen Hall, directed by Burt Metcalfe; the MASH Fandom wiki and the AfterM*A*S*H retrospective both list it as written by Alan Alda and Karen Hall, directed by Susan Oliver [1][2][3].
[1] Episode Spotlight: Hey, Look Me Over - MASH4077TV [2] Hey, Look Me Over - Wikipedia [3] Hey, Look Me Over - MASH Fandom